May 25, 2008

"KUYA"

I got invited yesterday to watch a Badminton Dual meet at THE ZONE, by my friend i fondly called Kuya.  He's considered the No 1.in their badminton group, tall and muscular, yet quiet and gentle but can really be very funny.  We've been friends since 2005. 

It's started with him sending me a message on the internet after i posted photos of a badminton tournament i joined on that year which myself (uhmmm!) and my  doubles partner ended bagging 1st runner-up medals.  Exchange of messages had been our routine then.  I don't know his looks were and i i never bother to ask his photo too. I don't know?  I enjoy having conversations with him...and that ran along for 2 months or more before we finally decided to meet one sunday afternoon, had snack, even watched "Into the Blue". 

I'm so glad to have met Kuya and become great friends with him.  In fact, i consider him as one of my bestfriends, playing a big part in my life's recent milestone.  He was the quiet and reserved type when i met him but i'm happy that he's more secure and confident about himself nowand a lot more open.  I'm flattered being one of the few people he texts or talks to over the phone when his got heart problems.   Were like sobrang bestfriends over the phone.  We are so honest to each other, we tell each other what we need to hear not we want to hear, and we say sorry if we may have hurt or offend each other with our honesty. 

Kuya had a history of falling asleep over the phone.  I lost count already of the times i realized i'm having a monologue, only when i heard him snoring...BUT i never felt offended by it.  He's been through a lot that time. For 3 months, we talk on the phone for hours, he has become restless and sleepless and i welcome the fact that he falls asleep while we're talking.  To some people, it could be rude but for me, i have made him relaxed. He's able to sleep and refuel.  But the best thing about it, that episode is over but we've become better friends after.

We keep in touch everyday, text about even the most trivial of things...and recently, i have become the advisee and he the true friend!  He's more straight to the point than i am...if you're onion-skinned you'll experienced twice the pain.  But kuya, only wants what's best for me.  I saw, feel his concern and i'm glad he's like that.  Cause i can be one stubborn person if i won't be slapped with such honesty and straight-frowardness, like may be or could be,plain  truth...  I'm so glad he's always there with his words kahit, i can be tiresome na...

What's funny about our friendship?   We hardly see each other...it's like months before we do. And it's unplanned,  And if we do, it's like hi and hello only.  Parang we are strangers in person.   Mysterious di ba?   Pero that adds to the beauty of our friendship!  But yesterday was different.  He saw to it that after his match kwentuhan kami at kulitan, parang sa text or so phone.  I'm seeing more of the person i know over the phone or text now.  And i'm glad about it!  More than glad about it!

Winner nga eh co'z of his busy schedule and being with different badminton groups, poeple were quite surprised seeing us together, especially, those from his group when we left the Zone. Question marks were flasshing all over their faces.  Looker din kasi si kuya, not to mention very mysterious. I won't be surprised...But only the Care Bears care ika nga! 

To top it all, not only did i get an invitation to watch the games, we were more comfortable with a lot of things now in person not just on phone, very rare that someone would invite me and drive me home as well.  I'm happy with yesterday...i'm happy having "Kuya" as one of my best friends.

To Kuya, thank you for the wonderful time yesterday.  I know and i felt your worry about  me yesterday BUT don't be, we learn from each other right?  I promise you that if my emotions is being played, well, i will be responsible but i will have to thank you in advance, knowing that your friendship will b ether for me.  salamat! 

                            

November 15, 2007

EULOGY TO A GREAT FRIEND….

I met her, Jing Gabriel, less than a decade ago.

She’s got a big resemblance to the STAR OF THE NEW DECADE.

Like her, she’s pretty, cute, charming , talented, carefree and so full of life.

In her early 20’s she became a mother to a boy named Nicko.

Less than a year older than me, we became close when we learned how we love AGATHA CHRISTIE.  We exchange paperback novels of her work.

On those years, friendship between us started to bloom.

We enjoy chit-chat, movies, men, figuring out people around us, Tong-its, mahjong, beaches and bitching around at times… Those were our happy memories together…

Then about 6 years ago, she learned about her having renal failure…and since then 4 cruel hours of dialysis treatment every other day…

I used to accompany her during those times when I was out of work…It was never FUN.

It’s hard to see her seated but really exhausted…tubes here and there.  Her red undertone had become grayish…some of her vessels were like inflamed varicose veins. . ANGRY and ready to explode…  Tubes stuck out from her chest, her petite body.  Still she managed to flash her smile and make the most out her time…Hard but on my part I have to smile and hide the sadness in my eyes. I remember one time, after treatment we went home and on our way to jeepney bay, we were laughing, exchanging stories, her arm around mine… Suddenly, I felt, heavy, and silence had replace the laughter and the noise around us.  There was her, dead-weight, motionless and unconscious on my back but still standing…I panicked, inexperienced with these things, slowly took her to my side and led her to sit on the gutter while people around us pass us by.  Gladly in a few minutes she woke…as if in a trance, remembered nothing and was surprised why we were seated.

Those were the worst memory we shared…

Sadly we stopped seeing each other…Work took me away again from her…we lost touch for a reason but has remained friends…that was 5 years ago…

Yesterday, she passed away.

Expected it in a way, but I still was shocked for hours after the news.

When it sank in, I realized that it was just a matter of time…and now I have to live with the thought that, 3 days after I turned 34 and 35 days before she turns 35, she would still want us to share something…our age of 34.

I’m sorry Jing I can not be there for you for so many years.  I know you understood.  It’s in your nature.  You were never judgmental and very accepting. 

I’m SORRY I can’t see you anymore, especially in this state.  I want to keep the thought when you are so alive, fun-loving and free-spirited.  I know you would understand.  I know not many people understood you.  Some, in spite of your case, still manages to use you and made you aware of the things you did in the past instead of helping you move on.  Thank you for being a friend, a sister and for the gift of acceptance, your love and your pure friendship.

October 31, 2007

YOU MADE ME STRONGER

It's hard to believe I’m okay

After all, it’s been a while

Since you walked away

I’m way past crying

Over you finding someone new

You turned my days into nights (days into nights)

But now I see the light

And this maybe a big surprise to you

cause you made me stronger

By breaking my heart

You ended my life

And made a better one start

You taught me everything

From falling in love

To letting go of a lie

Yes, you made me stronger

Baby, by saying goodbye

If you rather believe I’m not over you

Go ahead

There’s nothing wrong with making believe

I know

Cuz I used to pretend you’d come back to me

But time has been such a friend

Brought me to my senses again

And I have you to thanked (I have you to thanked)

For setting me free (for setting me free)

Cuz you’ve made me stronger

By breaking my heart

You ended my life

And made a better one start

You taught me everything

From falling in love

To letting go of a lie

Yes, you’ve made me stronger

Baby, by saying goodbye

Think again

Don’t feel so sorry for me, my friend

Oh, don’t you know

I’m not the one who lose at end (I’m not the one)

Cuz you’ve made me stronger 

By breaking my heart

You ended my life

And made a better one start

You taught me everything

From falling in love

To letting go of a lie

Yes, you’ve made me stronger

Baby, by saying goodbye

You ended my life

And made a better one start

You taught me everything

From falling in love

To letting go of a lie

Yes, you’ve made me stronger

Baby, by saying goodbye, goodbye

You’ve made me stronger

Baby, by saying goodbye

YOU

You give me hope

the strength and will to keep on

No one else can make me feel this way

And only you can bring out all the best I can do

I believe you turn the tide

and make me feel real good inside

**You push me up

When I'm about to give up

You're on my side

When no one seems to listen

And if you go, you know the tears can't help but show

You break this heart and tear it apart

and suddenly the madness starts

Chorus:

It's your smile, your face, your lips that I miss

Your sweet little eyes that stare at me

And make me say, I'm with you through all the way

Coz it's you who fills the emptiness in me

It changes everything you see

When I know I've got you with me

**, chorus

WHEN I MET YOU

There I was, an empty piece of a shell

Just mindin' my own world

Without even knowin'

What love and life were all about

Then you came

And brought me out of my shell

You gave the world to me

And before I knew

There I was so in love with you

Chorus

You gave me a reason for my being

And I love what I'm feelin'

You gave me a meaning to my life

Yes, I've gone beyond existing

And it all began

When I met you

I love the touch of your hair

And when I look in your eyes

I just know, I know, I'm on to something good

And I'm sure, my love for you will endure

Your love light up my world and take all my cares

Away where they can't bother me

(Repeat Chorus)

Bridge:

You taught me how to love

You showed me how tomorrow and today

My love, is different from the yesterday

I knew, you taught me to love

And darlin' I will always cherish you

Today, tomorrow and forever...

And I'm sure, when the evening will come around

I know we'll be making love

Like never before

My love, who could asked for more

(Repeat Chorus)

When I met you...

When I met you...

WAY BACK INTO LOVE

I've been living with a shadow overhead

I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed

I've been lonely for so long

Trapped in the past

I just can't seem to move on

 

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away

Just in case I ever need them again someday

I've been setting aside time to clear a little space in the corners of my mind

 

All I wanna do is find a way back into love

I can't make through without a way back into love

Oh

 

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine

I've been searching but I just don't see the signs

I know that it's out there

There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere

 

I've been looking for someone to shed some light

Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction and I'm open to your suggestions

 

All I wanna do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart again

I guess I'm hoping that you'll be there for me in the end

 

 

There are moments when I don't know if it's real

Or if anybody feels the way I feel

I need inspiration not just another negotiation

 

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart to you I'm hoping you'll show me what to do

And if you'll help me to start again

You know that I'll be there for you in the end

THE VERY THOUGHT OF YOU

The very thought of you

And I forget to do 

The little ordinary things

That everyone ought to do

I'm living in a kind of daydream

I'm happy as a king

And foolish, though it may seem to me

That's everything

The mere idea of you

The longing here for you

You'll never know 

How slow the moments go

Til I'm near to you

I see your face in every flower

You're eyes in stars above

It's just the thought of you

The very thought of you, my Love

The mere idea of you

The longing here for you

You'll never know 

How slow the moments go

Til I'm near to you

I see your face in every flower

Your eyes in stars above

It's just the thought of you

The very thought of you, my Love.

TIME WILL REVEAL

Uhh 

What can I do? 

To make you feel secure 

Remove all your doubts 

So that you'll know for sure that you're the apple of my eye, girl 

Fulfillment of my dreams 

Time, will show the value 

Of just what you mean to me 

More precious than silver 

More precious than diamond rings or anything that I can give you 

It wouldn't mean a thing 

If you didn't have my love beside you there to guide you through 

Well it is good to know you do 

 

I know just how you feel 

Well this time love's for real 

In time it will reveal 

That special love that's deep inside of us all will reveal in time 

 

I tell you I love you, but you don't believe it's true 

More precious than silver 

More precious than diamond rings or anything that I can give you 

It wouldn't mean a thing 

If you didn't have my love beside you there to guide you through 

But it is good to know you do, ahh 

 

I know just how you feel 

But this time love's for real 

In time it will reveal 

That special love that's deep inside of us will all reveal in time 

 

I know just how you feel 

But this time love's for real 

In time it will reveal 

That special love that's deep inside of us all will reveal in time 

 

Da da da... 

Or anything that I could give you 

It wouldn't mean a thing 

If you didn't have my love beside you there to guide you through 

Well it is good to know you do, ahh 

 

I know just how you feel 

But this time love's for real 

In time it will reveal 

That special love that's deep inside of us will all reveal in time 

 

I know just how you feel 

But this time love's for real 

In time it will reveal 

That special love that's deep inside of us will all reveal in time 

 

Oh, that special love in us will all reveal in time 

So let your little heart lay down upon me 

 

I know just how you feel 

But this time love's for real 

In time it will reveal 

That special love that's deep inside of us will all reveal in time

TANGING MAHAL

sabihin ko kaya sa iyo

damdamin ay tinatago

paano aking kaibigan

lihim na katotohanan

tanging mahal

sa puso ko'y ikaw lamang

sabihin mong pag-ibig ko

minimithi

inaasam

kailan pa ba

maririnig ito sinta

kung sana'y makapiling ka

habang buhay

aking sinta

pagtingin sa iyo'y nagbago

pagtibok ng aking puso

sana'y iyong malaman

ikaw at ikaw lamang

tanging mahal

sa puso ko'y ikaw lamang

sabihin mong pagibig kong

minimithi o inaasam

kailan pa ba

maririnig ito sinta

kung sana'y makapiling ka

habang buhay aking sinta

tanging mahal

sa puso ko'y ikaw lamang

sabihin mong pagibig ko

minimithi o inaasam

kailan pa ba

maririnig ito sinta

kung sana'y makapiling na

habang buhay aking sinta

tanging mahal

tanging mahal

CATCH ME I'M FALLIN' FOR YOU

Hmmm....

I don’t know why

But when I look in your eyes

I felt something that seems so right

You’ve got yours I’ve got mine

I think I’m losing my mind

'cause I shouldn’t feel this way

 

Catch me...I’m falling for you

And I don’t know what to do

How can something so wrong

Feel so right all along

Catch me…I’m falling for you

How can time be so wrong?

For love to come along

Catch me…I’m falling for you

 

How can love let it go?

When it has no place to go

and I  can’t go along…pretending

That love isn’t here to stay

Catch me I’m falling for you

 

If I could just walk away

Without you floating today

I would die just thinking of you

I know we can never be

More than friends, you and me

But why do I feel this way

 

Catch me…I’m falling for you

And I don’t know what to do

 

How can something so wrong

Feel so right all along

Catch me…I’m falling for you

How can time be so wrong?

For love to come along

Catch me…I’m falling for you

 

Maybe someday I’ll see

Why love did this to me

Cause I can’t go along…pretending

That love isn’t here to stay

Catch me I’m falling for you

Catch me…I’m falling for you

 

And it’s wrong for me to feel this way

Cause I don’t know what to do without you

I’M FALLING FOR YOU

Catch me…I’m falling for you

 

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May 2008

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